Relationships....

Why is it that a lot of guys don't want a girl to be "needy" or "pushy"? And I realize it's not an every guy thing, but it's enough that a lot of women have determined to NOT appear to be needy or pushy! Cause they don't want to drive the guy away. I see it time and time again on tv and movies as well as in real life......yes, even in MY life.

The truth of the matter is that God first created Adam as male AND female. Have you ever noticed that? Let me show you....

^{Genesis 1:26} Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” ²⁷ God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. ²⁸ God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” ²⁹ Then God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the surface of all the earth, and every tree which has fruit yielding seed; it shall be food for you; ³⁰ and to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the sky and to every thing that moves on the earth which has life, I have given every green plant for food”; and it was so. ³¹ God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.

See that in vs 27? God created man, male AND female! It's not until later on that God creates a woman as a separate being. :)

Genesis 2:20b but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. ²¹ So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. ²² The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. ²³ The man said,

“This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”

²⁴ For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. ²⁵ And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

 So, God created woman because he did not find a suitable helper for Adam, among all the animals. A few verses before that, in verse 18, it says this:

¹⁸ Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”

God, Himself, said that it was not good for man to be alone. Another translation of the bible even says,  'Then the Lord God said, “I see that it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make the companion he needs, one just right for him.”'

God says that Adam needed Eve. I really believe that from the beginning- from the creation story, God has made people to need other people. Often times, Christian songs have lyrics that say things like "You're all I need". They're singing to God and saying that above all else, we need God. True! But I do not believe that He is ALL that we need. When I first heard thoughts like this I was dumbfounded. It was like, finally, it makes sense! Of COURSE, God is not ALL that we need! From the very VERY beginning, He created man to NEED another person! And to be more specific, in this story, He created man to need a woman! WOW! God knows that we are great and amazing as we are but He also sees and knows that we are even more amazing, together! We DO need other people in our lives! We need others! 

I have found this to be so true, in my own life. I used to live my life with the thought that I didn't really need other people. I could do this whole life thing, on my own. I just needed to be around other people, when absolutely necessary- like work and church and family get togethers. But the truth was, I wasn't happy living like that. And, when I would be around other people, I would usually come away feeling refreshed, rejuvenated and even energized- which proved the need I had for people! As I've continued to get more and more healing from my past, I have continued to recognize my need for other people! Even in my living situation now. I live with 3 friends. There are 4 of us in a 2 bedroom apartment. Now, that totally wouldn't be for everyone- I know. But for me, and for right now in my life, I love it! I love our closeness- physically- and how it almost forces us to be closer- emotionally, spiritually, and relationally! Being around others makes me come alive! There are still times that I totally want to be alone and have my own "me time" but I find that I am usually happier when I am with my friends and family. And it's good. :)

We are MADE to need each other! We are made to NEED each other! We are made to need each OTHER! :) 

 (I know there are a ton of songs out there about needing others but I JUST found this one and was thouroughly impressed by this dude's voice! And the song is simple and perfect!) :)

 

So, my response to the whole view of guys thinking girls shouldn't be so needy is this- they can stuff it! ;) Guys are needed! Girls are needed, too! We need each other and "he who finds a wife, finds a good thing."(Proverbs 18:22)  It's true. 

So, I am reminding myself that the right guy IS out there, somewhere. And one way that I will know he IS the right guy is that he won't find me needy or clingy or whatever other ugly word is too often used. He WILL find that he wants to spend a lot more time with me than he's ever felt before. He will find that I am interesting and fun to be around and intelligent and full of joy and life! Until then, this is also my reminder that I am not any more needy than the next person- male or female. And if anyone ever says otherwise, I will remember that God made me to need other people! It's a beautiful thing, really. Jesus, YOU are beautiful and I love you!

I love the way you made us! I love that you made us to need each other! And I love that you have not and WILL not give up on us- no matter how many times we don't get it right. You are the sweetest! :) Oh yeah, and thanks for making us need you AND other humans too! ;)